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Geh-hurts

Geh-hurts. Tra-Meaner. Wine that sounds this tough and inscrutable gets passed over on the menu all the time. Puzzling out why it’s skipped over on the menu is easy enough to understand when you pronounce out the five-syllables required to ask for this grape.

Mildred
Imagine if Lolita had begun with “Geh-hurts. Geh-hurts. Tra-Meaner.” Might as well call her Mildred – not exactly illicit connotations jumping to mind when you hear your great-aunt’s cane in the hallway. Not to mention how difficult it would have been for Nabokov to describe his famous paramour: “Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta.” Try describing Gewurztraminer that way – it gets pretty comical, pretty fast.

Strangely enough, Gewurztraminer is your great-aunt Mildred in those really old photos on the wall. She’s young, all smiles and playful in a pre-WWII (pre-Humbert) way. We’re talking white wine, yellow (not clear) in the glass, hugely aromatic (second to only one) and the first choice for BYO dinners at Asian restaurants. Even that ugly “Gewurz” prefix has a pretty meaning in German – “perfumed.”

Tastes
West Coast Sample (WA) – Pretty dark yellow color, a round full body like a peach, sweet on the tongue and tastes like lychee and apple (Red Delicious variety – thanks michigan upbringing)

East Coast Sample (NY) – Honey smell and honey taste with some floral stuff thrown in. Starts with full body, long middle, finish falls a bit flat.

Detail Up!
Montinore Estate 2006 Gewurztraminer from Willamette Valley in Washington, USA.
Anthony Road 2008 Gewurztraminer from Finger Lakes in New York, USA.

Google Randoms:
* Gewürztraminer – rarely spelled right. Umlaut optional
* Traminer is a really old, mostly forgotten (other than Geh-hurts) grape aristocracy occupying the former Hapsberg lands.
* Lots of new grapes have spawned off from Gewurztraminer thanks to breeders’ tinkering. Traminette is one to try – it recently became Indiana’s signature grape.

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Confusion over Corvina
Corvina just doesn’t sound like a wine grape. Walk into a grocery store and the only “corvina” you’ll be finding will be over in the fishy-smelling section where your local fishmonger will instantly know it’s a Chilean Sea Bass you’re looking for (what was called, in another era, the Patagonian Toothfish – understandably, they changed it). Walk into a Portuguese restaurant and ask for the “corvina” and your waitress (possibly named “Corvina”) will instantly bring you Corvina on a platter. Just don’t ask for a bottle of Corvina – everyone will be very confused.

Veneto, Land of Ancient Wines and Feuds
Only in an Italian restaurant that specializes in food from Veneto, the northeastern part of Italy, will your order of “a Bottle of Corvina” bring smiles and appreciative hand gestures. In Veneto (and not many other places even in Italy), people cherish the Corvina and make all kinds of magic with it in wines. This is a region with a long history of wine-making dating back to the Romans (one of its valleys literally means “Valley of Many Cellars”) but most people know it as the site of Verona – home to Romeo & Juliet, the Montagues and the Capulets, Mercutio and Benvolio, the Nurse and the Friar, (the Corvina and the Rondinella?).

Famous Amarone
Veneto is one of the early adopters of the “straw wine” process, although not the first, and the Venetians have been winning crazy praise for the last 50 years with their big Amarone dessert wine. Amarone, despite its noodle-sounding name, is probably the most famous dessert wine from Italy, and Corvina features as its largest grape contributor in that final, raisin-y blend.

Detail Up!
Corvina 2009 “Torre del Falasco” by Valpantena Winery in Veneto, Italy (h/t for the image)

Taste
Really dark red color, fruity (i thought blackberry but others said cherry) with medium body with a little licorice finish and medium-strength tannins.

Google Randoms:
* Valpolicella, an affordable ($12-18) wine also from Veneto, counts Corvina among its majority shareholders (often in the 70% range)
* Corvina performs best in volcanic soil that resists the cold well – thinking there are parts out west in the US where this could work post-volcanic wonders
* Corvinione, once thought to be Corvina until scientists discovered that they’re actually two separate grapes, wasn’t discovered until 1993. Kinda exciting.

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Tale of Two Columns
Most often the menu on the table shows two sides – one white, one red. The white side has the favorites you’ve heard of, the red side has 4 wines, maybe 5. At the top of the list (read: lightest body), you see Pinot Noir, followed by Merlot, followed by Malbec or something you don’t recognize, and then Cabernet slams it home with the bass line.

Rugby on the Menu
However, once in a great while, there’s a wine that doesn’t fit the menu. Mansois is that wine. Not sure whether it’s heavy or light, tannic or not, dark or light. It defies categories. In fact, this wino went straight to the internets after trying it to find out what this strange wine involved. SW France, rustic in some parts of the region (translation: heavy and tannic), light with paprika in other parts. Almost nobody outside of the region (renowned for french rugby and Armagnac) grow this grape. So, thank you Rugby France – you’ve managed to break free of the menu in a really top-quality way.

Detail Up!
Marcillac 2009 Domaine Du Cros from Marcillac, in SW France “Lo Sang del Pais”

Taste
Fantastic body – fills up the mouth with none of the sticky tannins at the back of the tongue that clog up other wines. Bunch of strawberry and something black and sweet on the lips but kinda peppery too. Really different combination – like the first time you saw Angelina’s lips.

Google Randoms:
* Mansois has an everyman codename: Fer Servadou. Fer= iron, which should make you think twice before chopping down its vine.
* “Lo Sang del Pais” – blood of our country. Slightly heretical perhaps, but all delicious.
* The “corrida” join rugby and Armagnac on the list of SW French specialties. H/t Spain.
* Virginia plants a little of this Fer Servadou. Could use more of this here in the USA

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We’re #10!
“Romania – they make wine?” That was my reaction to my sommie friend’s description of this Romanian dessert wine he wanted me to try. To be honest, Romania wasn’t much on my mind at all. About anything. But wine they have. Loads of wine based on quick research and Sommie Seleño’s briefing. In fact, they’re in the Top 10 wine consumers in the world. Admittedly, they’re #10 but still. Australia and Portugal don’t even make the Top 10.

To the East for Dessert?
Muscat Ottonel is one of those multitude of variations on Muscatel, that Abraham of wines from ancient times. While not a native wine of Romania, Muscat Ottonel does grow in Translyvania where the Romanians make it into dessert wines. Based on the wikientry, there’s a pretty big divide on Muscat Ottonel. Whereas Western Europe (mostly, Alsace – that part of France on the German border) and Central Europe (Slovakia and Hungary) turn the grape into dry wine, Eastern Europe (Romania, Bulgaria, Slovenia, Croatia and Ukraine) converts it into dessert wines. I read once in a Champagne book that Russians loved their wines sweet and now I’m kinda wondering if there’s a trend toward sweet wines in the East and dry wines in the West. Only time (and tasting) will tell.

Taste
Very apricot. Sweet wine, chilled like a cocktail. Light body, heavy flavors like LiLo pre rehab. Cider looks and tart apricot taste. Strong structure, acid holds up. Overall, a one note bugle.

Detail Up!
Muscat Ottonel from DOCC Murfatlar in Romania. Unknown producer, unknown year.

Google Randoms:
* Romania has 4 big wine-producing regions: Tarnave (whites), Dealu Mare (soft reds), Murfatlar (late harvest wines) and Cotnari (dessert wines).
* Muscat Ottonel is one of the 4 best known Muscats (sorry gummo), the other three being: Muscat of Alexandria, Muscat Blanc, and Muscat Hamburg.
* Muskotaly – coolest synonym of Muscat Ottonel, is what you ask for in Hungary
* Specialty imports of Romanian Muscat Ottonel are actually available to many states in the US. Noroc!

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Political Wine
Politics pairs with wine about as well as mustard does. Best to keep it in the kitchen and add in little bits before the meal, never during the meal. A rare exception to the mustard rule though is found in the wine shown above. All Seyval Blanc, a prolific grape throughout the United States and Canada, one blog terms this the “Rodney Dangerfield” of wines, so you’re forgiven for not recognizing the grape name. It’s a blend of American grapes and European grapes, meaning neither continent really gives it much R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Victory White
Thankfully though, somebody in the Blue Map part of the country decided to devote their vintage to the victory of Barack Obama and make this disrespected Seyval Blanc grape into something quite respectable. Not that the Victory Wine was without precedent – Clinton Victory 1992 and Clinton Victory 1996 also resulted in Victory Wines. Apparently, Bush Victory 2000 and Bush Victory 2004 didn’t sell well in New York.

Hardy Wine
Seyval Blanc, even without the NY brand of “I <3 Dems" politics, manages to grow pretty ubiquitously in this New World of ours, although probably more east of the Mississippi. 40 states apparently grow this unknown, un-respected grape, and still nobody’s heard of it. Wine growers do love its cold-weather hardiness, and it’s quite possible Seyval Blanc ice skates in the off-season with Vidal Blanc and Gretzsky.

Taste
Smells acidic so you’re thinking “mussels wine,” but tastes almost sweet and much much thinner than expected. Thinner not in an anorexic way but more in a healthy, girl-next-door way. Wine coats the mouth but doesn’t cling (think vee-OHN-yay, not chardon-NAY) – it just makes its mark and moves on. white flowers, peach and some fresh cut grass all come to mind, which is to say, the wine has a lot and i’m not entirely sure about everything that shows up but pretty confident peach is in the mix.

Random Googles:
* England, much in the news as of late for its bubbly, grows loads of Seyval Blanc.
* Blue cheese on a hamburger – take it from a chef and pair your Seyval Blanc up right.
* Home winemakers in North America seem to love this grape if their posting quantity is any indication. Maybe the commercials should take note.

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